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                戀愛前,一定要注意這點

                時間: 2019-04-16 | 作者:情感小房子 | 來源: 諾亞文章網 | 編輯: admin | 閱讀:

                  點擊藍色字體即可關注?

                  文字? / 病房

                  音樂? /《可最后》任然

                  在網上看到這樣一個故事。

                  覺得說的很對。

                  說白了,性格就是原生態家庭賦予的。

                  說白了,談戀愛跟原生態家庭的關系分不開。

                  準確的說,影響很大。

                  性格,是刻在骨子里的,會遺傳的。

                  思維方式,為人處事…

                  都會遺傳。

                  什么樣的父母,就有可能生出什么樣的孩子。

                  不信,可以觀察一下。

                  甚至是,家庭主導地位強勢的那個,通常都跟孩子是一樣的。所以,我有這么一個觀點要擺出來。

                  談戀愛結婚前,一定要看原生態家庭是否健康。

                  我有一個朋友。

                  從小在家里被媽媽言語暴力,經常被罵廢物,沒有用。

                  后來,這個朋友開始談戀愛了,可是不知不覺中,他變成了媽媽的樣子,也經常用言語暴力去攻擊自己的對象。

                  有一次,他跟我聊天的時候說,他終于變成了他媽媽那樣的人,理智的時候,能夠平靜下來,但是在吵架失控的時候,就會變成他媽媽那樣的人,用言語暴力傷害自己的對象。

                  他在不理智的時候,

                  能罵他對象是廢物。

                  他知道不對,但是,他改不了,這就是原生態家庭潛移默化下的性格。朋友的對象曾經有好多次想要拯救,但是拯救不了。

                  朋友說,總有一天他應該會親自終結這段戀愛,他這種病態的原生態家庭,真的不配和任何女生談戀愛。

                  我倒認為,并不是說原生態家庭不好,就一定沒有資格戀愛,或者說不配談戀愛。

                  而是說,在談戀愛之前要看一看對方的原生態家庭。什么家暴史,什么各種出軌史,我不能完全絕對的勸說你不要選擇這樣的人,而是要慎重選擇。

                  我更想提醒你的是,不要一味的覺得他這樣的家庭很慘,這樣的家庭很慘的同時,所帶來的影響也是不可小覷的。

                  更不要高估自己的能力,能夠拯救一個原生態家庭不好的人。

                  很多時候,你太高估自己,而選擇拯救一個人的同時,很有可能被對方同化。當然,如果看到這里,你還是很愛對方,并且確定有這個能力能拯救對方。

                  你也可以繼續和一個糟糕的原生態家庭談戀愛。

                  前提是,你不能把自己陷進去。

                  前提是,你要用愛把他從原本糟糕的原生態家庭中拯救出來。原生態家庭所復刻的人,除了愛,好像沒有什么可以拯救的。

                  且不僅僅是單純的你很愛他。

                  更重要的是,他很愛你,他愿意為你將骨子里這種性格,這種潛移默化了十幾年的東西改掉。

                  當然,你也可以認為,這是我對糟糕的原生態家庭的一種偏見。

                  但我還是想提醒我的小房子們:

                  如果是極其糟糕的原生態家庭,一定一定要選擇慎重。不是說你不可以拯救他,而是你要確保你有這個能力拯救他。

                  最重要的是拯救他,千萬不可以被同化。

                  如果不能拯救,及時遠離。

                  有些東西真的不是你能拯救的,你唯一要做的是在自己力所能及的范圍內,在保護好自己的范圍內去拯救對方。

                  因為我們生來,就是被愛和施與愛的,拯救人這種事,還是交給超人去做吧。

                  - END -

                  每個夜晚 の 23:00

                  無論你在哪里,請記得打開手機。

                  陪你說晚安

                文章標題: 戀愛前,一定要注意這點
                文章地址: http://www.hriscs.com/article-95-183354-0.html
                文章標簽:戀愛
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