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                像愛一只貓一樣去戀愛

                時間: 2019-04-16 | 作者:菲德爾 | 來源: 諾亞文章網 | 編輯: admin | 閱讀:

                  分手之后,她養了一只貓。

                  她一直也想養貓,過去總有很多借口,比方說同住的套房太窄小,容不下一只貓;比方說他們都忙,忙得連照顧自己,或體諒對方的時間都太奢侈了;比方說他們都容易過敏,關系也處于過敏時期。

                  他們想過一起養貓,這心愿許了很久,差點沒跟著分手一起埋葬。分手以后她想著,不如她來養,有點茍且地,窩藏秘密一樣地,至少為這段關系保留一點什么下來。(推薦閱讀:【單身日記】田馥甄式的愛情:若愛不能永恒,至少讓我們愉快)

                  她心想,一個未來的生命,紀念過去的感情。

                  后來她搬了一處房,添購家具,掛上喜歡好久的畫,選了一眼深愛的家用品,從零開始地,建構一個家的形狀,這家慢慢有了她單人的氣息。貓也跟著搬了進來,就這么剛好,朋友家的貓新生了一窩,問她要不要一只。她點點頭。

                  貓還很小,四處好奇,小小身體在空間繞來繞去。分手以后,她常感覺自己回到幼童狀態,任何情緒都來得很直接,貓也是這樣,餓了就喊她,想念了就蹭蹭她,覺得煩了就走開。好像很有默契地,跟她約好要一起長大一樣。

                  她突然覺得這樣很好,她也開始覺得自己的情緒直接很好。正面的,負面的,難以理解的,她不再急著把自己的情緒關起來,而是慢慢去明白它。

                  她不懂小貓的語言,小貓卻好像理解她的情感,有時候夜里跑來蹭著她睡,小貓會伸出貓爪,碰碰她的手,像是在說,我在這里喲。小貓熟睡,她聽著他規律的呼嚕聲,想著自己豢養一個生命,感受他全然的信任,也沉沉睡去,睡得很好。我在這里,你在這里,我們在這里喲。

                  小貓陪她醒來,他是她清晨,看到的第一雙眼睛。

                  那雙眼睛看著她,澄澈的沒有任何懷疑。

                  小貓用他的方式愛她,更多時候,她感覺到,是小貓在看顧她。大概小貓隱隱約約覺得這個大他好幾倍的生物,也有她很脆弱的時候,也有把自己照顧得一團糟的時候,也有需要擁抱的時候。小貓陪她一起做夢,等待每個清晨到來,每個夜晚降臨,他們兩個一起慢慢長大。

                  她在照料小貓的日子里,學習去建立并且擁有一段關系。不是控制,不是依賴,不是迷戀,甚至也不是拯救,而是獨立地彼此需要。我一個人很好,當然也有很壞的時候,我不是因為想要避開難題,所以需要你,我只是愛你而已,沒有目的,甚至也不強求結果,只是想跟你一起經過。

                  她回想,這個小生命教了她許多。

                  愛一個人,像愛一只貓,需要他而不勉強他,照料他而不霸占他,愛他而不控制他,讓他自由,不妨礙相愛的所有可能。愛是我們長大,攜手經過,謝謝你愛我,謝謝我愛你。

                  每每想起,她都覺得,這是這段關系,她送給自己遲來的一份禮物。

                文章標題: 像愛一只貓一樣去戀愛
                文章地址: http://www.hriscs.com/article-95-183332-0.html
                文章標簽:只貓  戀愛  像愛一
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